I woke up this morning not to the intoxicating scent of brewing coffee but to the scent of my mother’s perfume instead. I easily recognized that the perfume she wore was her for-special-occasions-only perfume. It registered to my groggy and sleep-filled head the reason why she was wearing that perfume. A wedding.
Since I left the realm of adolescence and stepped on the threshold that says “early adulthood” (which was very recent, it’s actually just last month), I’ve been wondering if I will ever get to attend my own wedding. It’s not that I’m thinking of getting hitched as of the moment but what spurred the thought in my paranoid brain were my same-age friends and acquaintances who either got married or had babies this year.
As much as I like the idea of new beginnings and new life this year, I couldn’t help to think about the very opposite of those ideas I’ve mentioned — endings and death. My uncle who practices a healthy and clean living had a heart attack and had undergone angioplasty this year. Nope, by God’s good grace he didn’t die but this event reminded me a number of similar incidents in our family and relatives. My paternal grandfather died of stroke, so did my maternal grandfather. My maternal grandmother died of rheumatic heart disease. I do still have my paternal grandmother but she takes medications for her hypertension and diabetes, so do two of my paternal aunts, a paternal uncle and a maternal aunt. And oh, my father had a stroke two years ago and like my uncle, he doesn’t smoke and drink, and he isn’t fond of meat, fat and other foods that spells c-h-o-l-e-s-t-e-r-o-l and he was just 44 (which I think is relatively young to have a stroke). I guess it’s really the genes and hereditary issues then.
With those facts that lines our family’s health history and the reality that the human life span these days is getting shorter, why wouldn’t it cross my mind if I will still live to reach the stage of middle adulthood? I am not dooming and convincing myself that I won’t reach that stage or even get past that stage. The thought just crossed my mind because, come on, let’s be rational, all my grandparents had an encounter with heart disease. My father, some uncles and aunts had it too. I just can’t ignore the possibility of having it too although a huge part of me is hoping and praying that I wouldn’t wind up in an early grave because of heart disease, and, if God allows it, that I get to attend my own wedding.